begin, again

 

I see I haven’t blogged for almost a year.

An unintentional removal of my attention, I assure you. I have simply been feeling overwhelmed and unsure of where to focus my energies. I have been transforming in a most uncomfortable way.

As I sat to type, I decided to draw a tarot card. What did the deck have to say to me?

These three cards popped over as I shuffled. The deck had some things to confirm:

cards from Angel Tarot Cards by Doreen Virtue & Radleigh Valentine20190706_212312

6 of Water (traditionally Cups): Issues regarding children. Check.

4 of Earth (Pentacles): Good business decisions. Check.

8 of Water (Cups): The search for something more meaningful. Check.

Now, that we are clearly on the same page as to what is happening in my life, currently, it is time to do what I went to the cards to do: figure out which archetype I’m embodying these days.

I have been reading tarot for about 20 years and for the past decade, I have mostly stuck to oracle cards. That is mainly because I find them more useful for day-to-day living/questions. Tarot is more useful for big life moments, though. The Big Questions, The Big Changes.

I am in the middle of a harrowing transformation. I feel myself and I am not who I was…and still not who I shall become. This in-between space is prolonged and feels crazy-making. So, I need some translation of my energy. That is where the tarot comes in.

I have never found tarot to be a predictor of anything. It is simply a confirmation of what you already know or a translator of what you don’t quite understand, yet. I need this translation, tonight. I have already sat next to the life-giving waters and bared my soul. I have already connected with the core of Mother Earth and received a balancing energy for my chakras. I have already prayed.

Things are stirring inside me and I have no idea what to call them. This, for me, is why the tarot is so important.

It seems my translation is multi-fold:

cards from Angel Tarot Cards by Doreen Virtue & Radleigh Valentine20190706_214617

These are all Major Arcana cards.

5 Unity (traditionally The Hierophant): Spiritual organizations. I recently found an organization that I will be visiting in a neighboring state. I have been following the leader and the the organization’s work on social media for a bit and I like what I see. This is definitely where I am in life these days. I need a more traditional spiritual alignment. I’ve been solitary long enough.

9 Hermit (The Hermit): Spiritual teaching. Goes perfectly with Unity’s translation.

16 Life Experience (The Tower): Time to spread your wings. Yes, thank you. I didn’t translate what I’m going through as The Tower, but that makes perfect sense for how I’m feeling.

20 Renewal (Judgment): Time to move in a new direction. I agree. That’s what I’m doing. It feels a lot like molting. I’ve never been this person before or even really wanted to be this person. I have no idea what I’m doing, I’m simply putting one foot in front of the other. It’s not that I’m walking blind; I can see the beautiful destination. I just have to trust in a different way than I’ve learned to trust in the past.

Because I drew The Tower, I am going to also draw an animal totem card to figure out what animal medicine I could benefit from during this period of my life. I owned the Animal Spirits Knowledge Cards (Susan Seddon Boulet) for many, many years before I put them to use. Sometimes, you acquire your necessary tools years before you’ll do the work for which they are helpful.

card from Animal Spirits Knowledge Cards by Susan Seddon Bouletkingfisher

This is the kingfisher. I have literally never worked with kingfisher medicine in my life. Before tonight, I don’t think I remembered that this bird even existed. According to Boulet, the kingfisher symbolizes peace, abundance, and love. I need all of that energy in my life right now, as I have not felt peaceful or loving for some months. I’ve noticed it, but not been able to adjust it at all. Interesting piece of information about the kingfisher birds: the females are more colorful than the males.

I am thankful for these decks of cards that assist my processing of this transitional time of my life. As a Scorpio Sun, I am well acquainted with transformation, but this time feels significantly different and more challenging. May I attract the supportive and loving energies necessary to move with ease during the rest of this time in my life.

I wish the same for you, dear reader. Ashe!

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