Lately, I’ve been thinking about what it means to be me and what it means to navigate how people interact with this being we all call me.
As a Scorpio Sun, I got used to being a polarizing force in the world. It took me a while to acknowledge that certain things just aren’t really about us personally. There’s a certain vibration that we came into the world with and that vibration doesn’t always align easily with the vibrations of those around us.
If you’ve ever been pregnant, you probably know that. If you’ve been pregnant multiple times, you probably had a pregnancy or two where you didn’t feel like yourself. You were different, you felt different. It’s like you changed personalities. That’s the power of having another being forming inside your body. Your energies are contained in the same space and they aren’t always a vibrational match. It happens.
This happens with all relationships. Maybe when you met each other, you vibed. But, over time (sometimes just a few hours or days!), you stopped vibin’. You felt that you were out of sync. It can feel disheartening, annoying, frustrating to feel out of sync with someone. From those feelings, maybe you try to change yourself so that you’re back in vibrational alignment with that person. Maybe you just move on.
The thing about having babies is that that vibration comes out of your body and you still have to deal with it. For at least 18 more years, if you’re lucky.
That’s why parenting can feel like the hardest work ever. It’s the relationship that NEVER ends, even if someone dies or becomes estranged. You carry it around with you; you walk within it like a sack. So many good Scorpionic analogies for this sack. Embryonic sack? Body bag? Like, whatever floats your boat. Some days, it’s one. Some days, it’s the other. Some kids feel more like death than life. I’m just sayin’… life is whatever. Vibrations come. Thoughts come. We don’t have to get stuck in a particular vibrational relationship, but so often we do. Sometimes, it feels like body wading through almost dry mud in the desert to be in relationship with someone… even one’s own child.
You honor it, you feel it, and, if you’re able, you shift out of it. Maybe just to shift back into it at another time.
That’s how energy works. It just moves. It’s only a problem when it gets stuck. Even then, it’s not the energy that’s the problem… whatever is blocking the energy or causing you to feel stuck is the issue. Unless you enjoy feeling stuck. Some folks do. I’m not here to disparage your tendencies. I’m just here to get you to look at them. Navel gazing is work, too.
Parents also affect the vibrations of their kids. Maybe you gave birth to an amazingly dynamic being who was really fluid in identity, but your own identity problems have you messing up your kid’s relationship with identity. It happens every day. We have influence and impact, and not always in the ways that feel beneficial in the long-run.
I’ve had people (women, really) stop being in my life because my energy felt too motherly to them. I’ve had people (men, really) get angry with me for rejecting them because they were actually looking for a mother, not a friend or other mutually satisfying healthy arrangement.
At the end of the day, each of us is really only interacting with the aspects of ourselves that we see reflected in others, whether that’s for ick or yum. I’ve been questioning how true that statement is and I just keep coming up with IT IS TRUE OMG WHY IS THAT SO TRUUUUUUEEEEE. Because I can only really see the parts of you that I have experience with.
Have you heard the story of how when Christopher Columbus came to this part of the planet (North America), at first the Indigenous folks couldn’t see the ships? They had no frame of reference for ships, so they could see that the wave patterns in the ocean were weird and they’d stare at the ocean trying to figure out what was going on, but they literally couldn’t see the ships that were causing the patterns. Isn’t that AMAZING?
And, that’s how we all are. We can’t see what we have no frame of reference for.
Cue the Scorpios. We provide a frame of reference, an experience, that people sometimes (often?) aren’t ready for… “good” or “bad”. And, that seeing can feel icky at times. And, folks get mad at us. I don’t blame them. We can feel like an astrological burden.
But, at the end of the day, wouldn’t you rather know than not know? (Some of y’all are like… NO! Which is why you’re here.)
Seriously, though… life is SO BEAUTIFUL. Even the ugly parts offer a much desired contrast. Let the polarizing aspects of others shine a light on the polarizing aspects of yourself. Let your dislikes shake you up and make room for more beauty in your life.
Death = Life. Life = Death. It really is like that.
Now, why am I sharing all this? Today is Inauguration Day in the USA. Too many Americans are angry; too many Americans are relieved. Those energies will not shift anything.
This is the time to let the darkness illuminate for us just how dark things have been. This is the time to feel blinded by the light and recognize that we are not walking toward it. Don’t become docile in the face of moving forward 1/2 a step after falling down a flight of stairs.
We are living in a truly Scorpionic moment in time. Channel your inner Scorpio. Become willing to be polarizing, as long as you know you are operating from Truth and Love (and the more significant of these is Love). Stop allowing a little good to placate you. Demand more good. Demand more justice. Demand more shutting up of the stupid people around you who want to let the American standard remain low.
This is our country. Find your inner Scorpio and push your way to the front of the line of folks who don’t know their worth. And, then turn around at the front of the line and shout something Scorpionic like: HEY! Y’ALL ARE GOING TO LIVE A BETTER LIFE IF I GOTTA SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR FUCKING THROATS!
Cuz sometimes people don’t even know that’s an option. Not really. Not these days.
Join us polarizing Scorpios. We don’t care about your feelings, because we know feelings are just energy. They change.
And, so can this country. Because this country is comprised of you.
***fine print: When you get to the Kali portion of the Scorpionic journey, please make sure you have a Taurean friend with you. They’re the only ones stubborn and forceful and heavy enough to knock a Scorpio over and keep the energy having sex instead of causing wholesale destruction. If you see someone exercising long-term Scorpionic authority without a cow (Taurus) nearby, run. Everyone is about to die. Balance is key, folks!***