I want to begin today’s post by apologizing for the direction of the previous post. It went to a place I haven’t allowed myself to go, in writing, for a while: genitalia.
Now, personally, I enjoy genitalia. Tastes vary and all that, but I find genitalia enthralling. In the right context.
The genitalia I shared yesterday was completely out of context. Afterward, I wondered if I should rate that post “M” for mature. Do you still have to do things like that for blogs? Warn people that they contain “mature” themes?
I’m not sure how “mature” a theme genitalia is. All of us have it. There’s no magical age where you suddenly grow genitalia. At least, not once you’ve made it to this side of the moon.
But, all the thinking about that post led me down a dark, spiritual path. I began to ask myself questions like: When did I become someone who pretends genitalia don’t exist?
I have always been decidedly pro-genitalia. I’m what some might have called, in the pre-pro-sex days, overly-sexed. But, about 6 years ago, I decided that my kundalini energy was being blocked and I needed to use the creative juices “down there” to create a life I more thoroughly enjoyed.
I stopped having sex.
Thus began a spiritual journey that has opened me up in a lot of ways and closed me down in a few ways. I’ve enjoyed this part of my journey, but I’ve also realized that good sex is vital to health spirituality. My problem was that I wasn’t having good sex, because I found that I literally couldn’t stand the people I was having sex with. They were needy and selfish and lacked integrity. I figured if that’s who I was attracted to, that’s what I needed to clear up within.
That’s my ultimate spiritual practice. If I like you and you are problematic, I feel safe assuming I’m problematic in similar ways, and I’m going to realign.
I’ve been realigning diligently. And, now, I feel appropriately realigned for whatever is next in my journey. I imagine the sharing of saliva is upcoming and the very idea grosses me out.
We all have our thing. I’ve always rathered have sex with someone than kiss them. Kissing seems far more intimate.
But, I digress…
I’ve been pondering the intersection of a highly spiritual practice and the sharing of genitalia. It can get very messy. There are so many stories of sexual perversion among spiritual “masters” and the like that it becomes imperative that we more passionate beings scrutinize our desires and intentions.
But, there’s also the matter of recognizing that some people think sexuality and spirituality should have nothing to do with one another, and in their own sense of deviation, label things perverse which are perfectly normal and natural.
As usual, the things which make us most human are not so simple to comprehend or decipher. We just have to do our own work. We just have to trust the path we’re on. The way is not about a destination so much as a traveling method. The destination appears and is left behind many, many times along the journey.
I’m not going to lie. I often wonder if my favorite spiritual teachers have sex and, if so, with whom. Like… it seems like I can’t trust you if you’re not sexual, so I assume you are, and I think a huge part of knowing if you should even be listened to is how you think about and behave within a sexual context. I would never trust a life-long celibate person to give me spiritual advice. I think that’s insane. Celibacy is a tool, not a work.
But, in the spiritual paths, we don’t really talk about sex unless we’re in-person or someone’s proclivities and/or unfortunate choices are being dragged through the mud. We want to separate sex and spiritual practice (unless we’re into tantra… which is whole other conversation. I’ve studied tantra and I think it’s been warped, as a path), and that’s not human.
So, yeah. Genitalia. It’s a beautiful concept that I think I’m ready to touch on, again. Haha! I crack myself up.
But, seriously. The genitalia’s alright. It exists. It has a purpose. I think it’s time to stop basking in the glow of our misalignment with regard to human sexuality. We’re either doing too much or too little. Just as I found out about The Beauty Way, The Way of the Horse, and The Way of the Desert, I will find out about the non-tantric Way of the Genitalia.
Or create it myself.